How to Talk to Your Child About Getting a Tutor

Why Children Resist Tutoring

The most common reasons children resist tutoring are:

• Embarrassment — they worry that needing a tutor means they are not clever
• Loss of time — they see it as taking time away from things they enjoy
• Scepticism — they do not believe it will make a difference
• Pride — particularly older students, who may see it as an admission of failure

Understanding which applies to your child shapes how you approach the conversation.

What Not to Do

• Do not present tutoring as a consequence of failure or poor behaviour
• Do not compare your child unfavourably to siblings, classmates, or friends who are doing well
• Do not announce that you have already booked a tutor without involving them in the decision
• Do not tie tutoring to threats about their future

All of these approaches create resentment that makes tutoring less likely to work.

Framing It Positively

Frame tutoring as an investment in your child''s own goals — not a remedial intervention. Examples:

• "You said you want to do [subject] at A-Level. A tutor can help you get the grade you need."
• "Lots of students at [school] use tutors — it''s just extra support, like a sports coach."
• "I thought it might be useful to get some help before your exams so you feel more prepared."

Involve Them in the Choice

Letting your child have a say in which tutor they work with — reviewing profiles, attending a trial session, giving feedback — significantly increases buy-in. A student who chose their tutor is far more engaged than one who was assigned one.

After the First Session

Ask open, non-pressuring questions: "How did it go? Did you find it useful?" Give it three sessions before drawing conclusions. Most resistant students relax once they realise tutoring is not humiliating — and often start to look forward to it.